I went to sleep after chatting with my girlfriend, a bright, lovely and supportive person, whom I admire very much, and as I laid down my body over the mattress, I started thinking on what I did on that day.
Other than my daily work, I worked a bit more on art and translated a couple paragraphs of a Brazilian book into English. And I had a lot of fun doing it! The process is slow and will take some time, but I am doing it whenever I can.
And my mind drifted further. It made me think how happy I was for doing something for no monetary gain.
I struggle quite a bit with commissions, I will not lie. The truth is that while it is a very valid way to earn money, I don't think I like how it intrinsically assigns a numerical value to what I do.
Money really has the power to reduce meaningful interactions into commerce. I can't shake off the feeling that in this system, my true worth is limited to how much my skills can be monetized.
Modern internet really lost the eusocial aspect to it. People used to share what they created and what they knew in forums, custom sites and blogs. They engaged in it for the love of it. And people gathered in specialized sites that respected their output, not as "content", but as contributions to the community.
I'm translating a book because this brings me joy without having to think about financial gratification. I love doing what I'm doing, and I love to think that my efforts will be appreciated by others. Is this idealistic and naïve? Perhaps, but what is the evil in wishing for a net positive in the world?
I'm not saying that monetizing your creations is inherently wrong. I think people should be able to earn a living doing what they enjoy, and I don't think they should undersell themselves, too. But there is a nuance, and I think that much of the enjoyment on the internet being reduced to transactions or automated AI replies have a negative impact on me.